


knuckle takes gon and killua to dairy queen to witness the magic of a blizzard

by gwaguac



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:41:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28783605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwaguac/pseuds/gwaguac
Summary: Knuckle drives best friends Gon and Killua to Dairy Queen, and are in for a shocking series of events
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Knuckle Bine & Shoot McMahon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	knuckle takes gon and killua to dairy queen to witness the magic of a blizzard

**Author's Note:**

> thank you itsa100 for writing this excellent tale with me

Gon and Killua sit in the backseat, forced by fist-point to sit in their separate Graco® 4Ever® DLX 4-in-1 Convertible Car Seat in Drew car seats.  
“Check it, toddlers! This Graco® 4Ever® DLX 4-in-1 Convertible Car can go into hyperdrive like SCHWEEE!!!!” Then Knuckle went off the road and accidentally hit an old lady. That was the 6th lady, now. Killua was keeping count. 

“ Watch it KNUCKLE-HEAD! Tch. . At least he’s keeping the population steady. Where are we going anyways? Mcdonalds was where you crashed into that one mini-van with children in it. “ Killua. .tch. He rolls his eyes, he hasn’t eaten and his good friend Gon has become shrivelled up due to the lack of water. Knuckles babysitting turns out can be more torture than pleasure. .tch.

“Hahahahahahahaha Killua my best pal. My best amigo that was a very funny joke thank you hahahaa” Gon managed to sputter out his cracked, dry lips before passing out again due to dehydration.

“Hang on, bitches. I know a shortcut, but we might have to hit at least 50 more family jeeps that way.”

“Whatever it takes, idiot! Gon is about to see those fuckin’ ants and like all the other people we’ve killed, and that’s way too many to keep track of!” Killua shouted.

VRRRRRRREEEEEEE!! Knuckle turns the wheel violently, it’s like Grand Theft Auto. .But real. Gons bone shatter, he is nothing but a corpse swaying back and forth as Knuckles decimates yet another vehicle. Ten minutes fly by like that one guy who just fucking flew off of his morticycle while at the hands of Knuckle the speedrunner. The final minute, Knuckle floors it as he hit one more child while holding her limited edition confetti sprinkles blizzard from Dairy Queen. Fuck the parking lots, what hunter uses the parking lot? No, we only do it the SWAG way. A large boom is heard as the Graco® 4Ever® DLX 4-in-1 Convertible Car smashes right at the countertop of the Dairy Queens, we’re here.

“Wat teh fouck” says Shoot, turning to look at the car as if it wasn’t a car that just crashed through the wall of the Dairy Queen and was instead a mildly upset customer yelling at him.  
“Holy shit! Shoot! Why are you here?!” Knuckles pointed dramatically, because he is indeed an anime character.

“Oh hey Knuckle.” Shoot was in his employee uniform. “After almost dying because of some Dwayne the Rock Johnson but red ant motherfucker, I’ve decided to retire and instead work a minimum wage job at Dairy Queen. It’s a lot better than dying. I like putting hot dogs in the ice cream.”

“Hey this is cool and all but someone give my homeboy water before I have to hydrate him by pissing in his mouth. He’s allergic.” Killua pokes his head out of the convertible.   
Shoot sighs loudly, instead of people yelling at him to make a. . . He vomits in his mouth as he hears the worst meme experience. . Make the Glizzy. 

“ We don’t have water, only Blizzards and flavorless chicken tenders. “ He looks at the donation jar for the Childrens Miracle Workers which was also Shoots tip jar, working at a minimum wage job makes you evil. 

“ Blizzard? “ Gon rises from his baby chair, bones being reformed as his dry and decaying face soon reformed to its normal shape like a squishy from satisfying compilations on instagram. Ripping the seatbelt off of him, he is at Killuas side preparing to order the best item off of Dairy Queens menu. . The Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard Treat.

“What’s a blizzard lol” Killua speaks. Any words being spoken right now stop. Time is frozen. All three turn to stare at him. The fire crackling from the car is put out because of the words from Killua’s mouth. Gon’s body rapidly begins to decompose again. Knuckle is disgusted. Shoot just wants a tip. The audience watching in the Dairy Queen who had been enjoying their frozen treats before the trio disrupted the peace all frowned. Actually, it was all the Phantom Troupe, who were planning to steal the blizzard machine. However, not even these malicious, empty-hearted criminals could prevent a young lad from being blessed with tasting a blizzard for the first time. They would steal it after the three left.

“How the ffff-CRAP have you never had a blizzard before, you freak of nature?!” Knuckle was only shouting louder, now. Please shut up, Knuckle.

“My brother Illumi only let me have Cold Stone as a kid, it’s not my fault, whore.” Killua retorted. Knuckle growls like a wolf, an angry wolf like the ones in the rp. Knuckles grips his fists tightly, not only was the mention of a . . .gay. . . was mentioned but COLD STONE? They’re only good to get promotional cups from Nintendo and laugh at how expensive their shitty ice cream is. Knuckles was blessed to be poor, Dairy Queen was a blessing to poor people and only white higher ups got to experience the disaster of Cold Stone. . How he enjoyed the rich eating at such a disgusting ice cream place, unlike Knuckle who got to experience such bliss. 

“ Listen shitwipe assface. . “ Tch, how he loved to swear to show how much of a big boy he is. “ You’re going to start being POOR, now look at the menu before I beat you so hard you’re going to become blind, which means you can’t see! “ A threat. . Killua looks up at the menu as Gons decomposed body slowly turns to the menu. You could hear the crunching of Gon’s drying skin. Do they order the pussy Orange Julias or the wonderful beauty that is a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

“Uh, okay. Can I just have the M&Ms Milk Chocolate Candies Blizzard, I guess?” Killua shuddered at being poor. He was never poor. His rich white family always got Cold Stone.   
Glass shattering was heard. Yet another mistake, Killua. 

“You FOOL! Didn’t you know that flavor is ranked worst on Mashed.com? That’s the worst blizzard you can get! YOU’RE A FAT BITCH!” Knuckle was at the point of throwing swears out of nowhere. Shoot did not care about what they ordered. He just wanted the money.

“THEN WHAT DO I ORDER?!” Killua yelled back.

“Mashed.com says that the best blizzard of all time is the Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard! That’s your safest bet!” Knuckles replies.

“Do you have that list memorized? Is it your dairy queen bible?” Killua was baffled, but it made sense. Knuckle seems like the type to memorize menu item ranking lists instead of something important, like how to do a sick kickflip.

“Of course I do. Who do you think wrote it?” Knuckle smirked. Killua gasped. Gon was still decomposing. Shoot stared at his tip jar longingly. 

“:o” Killua said. Aka colon o. “Fine, okay. I’ll get whatever Knuckle said. What do you want, Gon?” He looked at his BFF best friend forever.

“Snickerdoodle…….. Cookie……. Dough………... Blizzard……….” Gon’s raspy, dry, cracking voice managed to groan out. “ Heh. . “ Knuckles looks down and begins to laugh, before looking back up at the underpaid Dairy Queen employee. “ I want a Dairy Queen’s Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard, with soft serve vanilla, real pieces of apple pie. . pie crust bits. .and sugary caramel truffles. “ Tch. . Recited perfectly as it is said on Mashed.com. 

“ ok “ The guy with no arm responded. Time to create blizzards so that I can go on lunch break. Turns out not having an arm makes things harder, why did his nen have to be so fucking stupid? Who wants to put people in a tiny cage? Who would want more fists? Actually. . The Dairy Queen Boss said no to the fists since it scared the children, but that’s not the only thing that will make the children frightened once Shoot was done with them. The blizzards were created and it’s time to serve them, he slides the three Blizzards on a dirty Dairy Queen tray. Finally, my job is done with. 

“ HOLD IT! Tch, what do you think you’re doing? “ Killua and Gons decaying body stared in confusion, what did Knuckles mean? We’re getting our Blizzards, end of story. 

“ What do you mean, it’s your Blizza- . . . Oh. “ A look of fear glosses over Shoot, sweat beginning to erupt from his head. . .No. . He forgot about dipping the blizzards upside down.

Shoot let out a resigned sigh. Knuckle was never going to forgive him for this moment. However, he would make up for it the best he could. He tried to roll up his sleeve but remembered he can’t because he has no arm, and then went to pick up the blizzard.

“Check it, lads.”

He slowly flipped it. As soon as it was upside down, a brilliant light flashed from the frozen delight. An intense wind went throughout the entire fast food building. Everyone’s hair was flowing wildly through the wind, except for Knuckles. His hair gel cements his hair in place. Angels were singing, babies everywhere stopped crying. Chrollo, who was still in the back, shed a single tear. It was beautiful. Almost as gorgeous as the lord, Jesus. Gon’s entire being was rejuvenated, his hair stood up straight once more, his eyes were back to their bright, cheery expression. Killua was feeling an other-worldly emotion. Was this what he had missed in all his years? Cold Stone looked like a pebble compared to the massive, shining crystal that was Dairy Queen. Illumi was wrong. His family was wrong. Cold Stone was not the best ice Cream place in the universe. A tear slowly rolled down the boy’s cheek. He’d experienced so much since travelling with Gon, but this was by far the greatest thing his eyes had ever witnessed.   
Knuckle looked at Killua and grinned. “See, rich boy? This is the magic of a Blizza-”   
A loud smack was heard.

The blizzard had fallen out and hit the floor.

Oh fuck. . Oh god. The world fell into despair, this is as bad as the Chimera Ant Arc. .But worse. The Blizzard machine had begun to overheat. . How does an icecream machine do that? The icecream would melt faster, but Shoot didn’t want to use the Childrens Miracle Fund to pay for an icecream machine, that was going to be spent on his new robotic arm like in the hit youtube series Most Popular Girls in School, just like his queen Deandra. The Blizzard had melted faster than anticipated, what was he going to do? He was one of the least popular characters in Hunter x Hunter as it is, this would ensure he was worse than Milluki on the fandoms list. . Oh no. The world stopped, everything is in agony as the Phantom Troupe in the back soon turned back to their dollar menu flavorless chicken tenders, pain in their eyes as they’ll probably kill a few babies just to get the feeling of dread off of their souls. As for Gon? He evaporated, he was dry. . .Happiness is gone. 

“ WHAT THE HELL? Now I gotta pay for anothe- Unless. . Heh. “ Knuckles looks at Gons bone-dry body and tips it, it falls headfirst into the tasty delicious scrumptious surprise that was the Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard. As if a sponge soon sucked up water, so did Gon with the delicious Blizzard. 

“Holy shit that slapped on god!!!!” Gon was revived for, what Killua hoped, to be the last time. 

“See, kids? THIS is the magic of Dairy Queen! Heh heh!” Knuckle put a hand on his hip, Blizzard in his other hand. “Thanks for the shit, Shoot! See ya on the flip-flop!” He said this because Shoot and Knuckle are roommates who live on a giant flip-flop. 

“Wait, you forgot to pay-” Shoot tried to stop the trio, but they had already entered the convertible and sped off. Screaming was heard. That’s 15 more innocent pedestrians. 

Shoot grumbled, thinking it couldn’t get worse, when a loud noise was heard.

He turned to see a group of criminals who looked like they just left PrideFest stealing the Blizzard machine. 

Why would they even want that? It’s broken. 

Whatever. He didn’t get paid enough for this.


End file.
